My List On: Edward Cullen
by TwistingTwilight
Summary: Bella Swan is in love with Edward Cullen. Two years have passed, and he's throwing a Senior Year party before everyone goes to College... Will she tell him how she feels? Will she get what she's always wanted? ONE SHOT. M FOR LEMON. AH. BPOV.


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**Encase you guys haven't noticed, i'm obsessed with one shots lately and keep getting more and more ideas for them. This is my latest, and don't worry - To all readers of "A Love Never Lost" and "A High Price To Pay" the next chapters are nearly finished and will be posted really soon.**

**Disclaimer: If i was S. Meyer, or if i owned Twilight, there would be a lot more hanky panky going on... So no, it's not mine.**

****Enjoy!

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Tonight was the night I made my move.

For two years I'd been swooning over Edward Cullen, and tonight he'd find out exactly how I felt. We'd been in High School together, and tonight was probably the last night I'd ever set eyes on him.

Let's see... It all started when I moved to Forks in my junior year. Edward was a jock, a complete and utter women loving, party throwing, football playing jock... Or so I'd thought.

On my first day of school I'd been assigned as his lab partner in Biology class, though we never spoke until we were given our first assignment a few weeks later.

He was handsome... Too gorgeous for his own good really... When I'd first seen him at lunch, surrounded by football players and blonde haired bimbos, I assumed he was exactly the same.

Though I couldn't have been more wrong. It turned out that Edward did play football, but he was also a highly intelligent person. When we started working together in Biology, I was shocked by his level of knowledge. It seems patronizing and stereotypical, but it was the truth at the time.

I later found out that he was a straight A student, and that just added to my list of what was perfect about him.

_Jawline._

_Bronze sex hair._

_Kissable lips._

_Smouldering green eyes._

_Tall and strong body._

_Nice clothes._

_BRAINS._

Yes... I really did write a list, and it was kept at the back of my Biology book.

Mortifying, I know.

Throughout our first year, Edward and I spoke more often, though we only ever reached a proper conversation once or twice.

It turned out he had the most amazing and caring personality I'd ever found in a guy, and a part of me thought he was playing with me, but that part soon got shot down when I realized no-one could act for that long.

_Caring, kind, amazing personality._

That got added to the list too.

Something that always disappointed me though was the fact that we never spoke outside of class, and sometimes in class we wouldn't say a word to each other.

I wanted to add shy to my list, but that was my forte, not his.

Edward Cullen didn't do girlfriends. That was something I learnt from others around me, not him.

And even though he didn't date, I was sure he got the ladies.

That point upset me a bit, but then again what should I expect from a God like Edward fucking Cullen?

I'd always been a shy girl, and I never wanted to steer off the path I'd set myself on. I didn't really date, only guys I knew wouldn't last very long. I know it was a stupid motto, but I'm convinced a part of me was holding out for Edward Cullen. Like that would ever happen though.

Even though I was a virgin, and I'd barely gone past second base with a guy, I knew if the chance came by, I'd have my first time with Edward Cullen and have no regrets.

That was when I realised I was in love with him.

It was the end of junior year, and as I slipped out my list from the back of my book I added;

_Perfection._

For the next year I sat beside Edward Cullen again, and my best friend Alice became more and more convinced that he liked me.

"He's staring at you." She told me at lunch one day.

I frowned, "Who?"

"Who do you think?" She chirped, "Edward Cullen."

I shook my head, unable to fight the blush that crept into my cheeks, "No he's not."

"See for yourself." She mumbled, folding her arms across her chest.

I'd turned my head, glancing over my shoulder to see Edward Cullen clearly looking our way. Our eyes had connected and held for a long moment before he dropped his eyes back to his table, turning around to his friends again.

That however, proved nothing.

He'd invited me to a few of his parties... We not exactly just me, my whole group of friends... This consisted of me... And Alice...

God I was such a social reject.

Anyway, when we'd gone to his parties I'd always see him watching me from the bar, or from his couch. His parents were rich, _very _rich and so they let him throw as many parties as he wanted. They even allowed alcohol.

I never drank though. Charlie would probably smell it a mile away.

That however brings me to right now...

I was standing in Alice's bedroom, turning slightly to get a better view of my dress from behind.

Edward Cullen was throwing a party for the end of Senior Year. It had a strict dress code, almost like a Prom. You had to dress in ball gowns and tuxes... And you had to wear a mask.

A masquerade ball.

My dress was midnight blue with diamonds embedded along the bust. I turned in the mirror and gaped at the back of the dress... There was none.

My back was bare from my neck to a few inches above my ass.

"I can't wear this." I mumbled as Alice walked back into the room with her slim fitted purple dress hugging her figure.

"Yes you can!" She said in an outraged tone, "It took me forever to find that dress!"

"But it isn't really me." I muttered.

"Yes it is." She smiled, coming to stand beside me in the mirror, "It's beautiful."

I rolled my eyes at her compliment, but didn't answer. She handed me a pair of black heels which I slipped on carefully before taking the mask in her outstretched hand. It was dark blue, with a few black feathers protruding from the edges. I slipped it on over my face, careful not to damage the flawless make-up Alice had worked for hours on.

I patted my hair gently, making sure the curls were okay before I turned to Alice, "How do I look?"

"Perfect." She grinned, pulling on her own purple mask, "Edward's going to love you."

I sighed, "I just hope he recognizes me..."

"Why do you think he's done this whole themed party?" She stated, placing a hand on her hip.

I was clueless, "Why?"

"He described it as 'a chance to have what you were too shy to get'... Can't you see he's talking about you?" Her voice became higher as my eyes widened.

"No way." I shook my head, "Edward's not shy."

"Oh yeah. And you're Lindsay Lohan."

Nevertheless, I was setting my sights on Edward Cullen tonight.

I'd tell him how I felt.

I had nothing left to lose. School was over now, we were all going away to College... I could tell him how I felt and not have to face his gaze the next Monday in school.

The perfect plan.

* * *

The party was amazing. The music was blasting, the house was pumping, people were on the dance floor, people were by the bar.

And most of all, everyone was wearing masks.

It gave me a little confidence boost before I came crashing down again.

How was I supposed to be able to tell which one was Edward?

I turned to look at Alice, who was scanning the room for the guy I knew she was hoping to see – Jasper Whitlock.

"Alice." I hissed low in her ear, hoping she'd hear me. She turned her head in my direction, letting me know she could, "How am I supposed to find him?"

"Let him find you!" She shouted above the beat, giving my cheek a quick kiss before she started to walk off, her small body becoming lost in the crowd.

I walked forward slowly before deciding I needed a drink to calm my nerves and give me some courage. I didn't normal let alcohol pass my lips, it was nasty stuff, but I definitely needed it.

I went to the bar, ordering one shot before I knocked it back quickly, feeling the liquid burn my throat. I asked for a coke to calm the burn and passed it down my throat quickly, thankful for the courage and the stench of alcohol to leave my breath.

I moved onto the dance floor, finding Alice and asking her to dance with me as a distraction.

Halfway through our dance I felt hands on my hips and Alice glanced up before her eyes widened and she shimmed away. I froze for a second before shutting my eyes. I could do this.

I turned around and glanced up at the figure. It was dark, but I could faintly make out the shape of his face and the white mask protecting his strong features.

"Do you want to dance?" The voice was deep and hard to hear over the music.

"Edward?" I asked, smiling a little as I my heart began to soar.

He nodded, not saying another word before he wrapped his arms around my waist and moved his body with mine. We'd danced for two songs and I stared into his eyes as we moved, keeping my hands firmly on his shoulders, holding on to all I knew was real.

He lowered his head slightly before kissing my cheek. I smiled, leaning in to him before his lips moved lower to my jaw and then my neck. I shut my eyes, enjoying the feel of his lips before he pulled away.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" He asked quietly, but straight into my ear so I could hear him.

I shut my eyes, feeling my stomach flip with excitement and nervousness. Edward Cullen was asking me to his room.

I nodded my head in agreement and he pulled away, only to take my hand and lead me upstairs. We reached Edward's room in a matter of seconds and he shut the door behind us gently. He came over to me, reaching to take my face in his hands and kiss along my jaw once more, walking me backwards towards the bed.

"I've..." I tried not to get distracted by his kisses, "I've wanted this for so long..."

Suddenly light filled the room as the door flung open and a figure came bounding inside. I froze and Edward did too, his kisses stopping as he turned towards the person in the doorway.

I blinked and my eyes adjusted as the figure moved to turn on the lights.

I stared. And I stared some more.

But I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Edward Cullen was standing across the room from me, his eyes harsh and disgusted as he gazed at me and... Who was it?

I pushed the stranger away from me, watching as he turned around towards Edward.

"Get the _fuck _out of my room and my house!" His voice was like an earthquake and I felt my legs shake with the intensity of it.

The figure stumbled out and into the hallway again, mumbling something incoherently.

I stared after the boy in shock, disbelieving that I might have actually given myself to him, thinking it was Edward...

I knew Edward wanted me out too, but my legs couldn't move.

"Get out." He bit through his teeth, "I actually thought you were different, but you're just as much of a slag as all the others."

His words cut right through me, and I wanted to tell him the truth but all I could seem to say was, "Oh God..."

I whispered it low and Edward didn't speak, he only stared. I felt the tears form in my eyes and I blinked, pulling the mask off my face quickly.

Edward's was gone too before he even came into the room, he was standing there with a tux on, without the bowtie.

"Didn't you hear me?" He asked again.

"Oh my God..." I put my hand over my mouth and suddenly Edward turned softer.

"Bella, what it is?" He didn't move towards me, but his voice held less hostility than before.

"I thought..." I looked towards the door again, wondering how my night had gone wrong so quickly, "I thought he was..."

"What?" Edward shook his head, not understand what I was saying.

"I thought he was you..." I shut my eyes, feeling my heart plummet at my declaration, knowing that Edward would never want me now after what he thought and what he'd just witnessed.

I held the mask close to my chest, holding myself together as I found my legs and ran from the room.

I didn't stop, I only grabbed my bag at the bottom of the hall before opening the door and running outside into the cold crisp air.

I made my way home in my heels, not even bothering to care how much they burnt and cut my feet. When I finally got home I opened the door with shaking hands, before locking it carefully behind me.

I walked upstairs slowly, throwing my bag and my shoes on the bed before I went to the bathroom. I hated the feel of the boy's hands on me, or his lips on my skin. I wanted it off.

A part of me was glad, because it wasn't how I wanted to imagine Edward's touch. It wasn't gentle enough.

I let my dress pool at my feet before I stepped under the hot water. I let it wash away the feelings I didn't want to remember, and the memories I begged to forget. I scrubbed at my face, seeing the trail of black mascara and blue eye shadow wash away slowly. I washed my hair next, feeling the smell of Alice's hairspray leave and the scent of my strawberry shampoo return.

When I finally felt clean again I got out and wrapped the towel around me tightly. I left the dress in the wash basket, and headed back to my room to get changed.

Once in my comfortable sweats and jersey I padded around my room, cleaning it slowly to distract myself from certain thoughts. I put my bag and shoes away carefully before lifting my phone and texting Alice, telling her I'd got home safe.

I was sure I'd spill my beans with her tomorrow away, and have a good cry.

I eventually took myself to bed, feeling the worries and regrets creep up and into my head slowly. With a resigned sigh I got up again and headed downstairs, grabbing a packet of chips from the cupboard and going to watch a black and white movie that was showing on cable.

Charlie was working nightshift, and I was glad of it. I could imagine his face if he'd seen the state I came home in. His shotgun was always fully loaded. I dreaded to think what he would have done with it.

About halfway through the movie, just when the heroine was leaving her true love, there was knock on the front door.

I frowned, and walked slowly to open it. It was only gone eleven, but I doubted anyone would be calling so late at night.

I opened the door anyway... And almost shut it again.

Edward Cullen was standing on my front porch, holding one hand in his hair as he looked at me with hooded eyes.

"E-Edward..." I stuttered a little, "What are you doing here?"

"Do you know how dangerous it is to walk home by yourself?" He demanded.

I frowned, "What are you talking about?" I sighed, shaking my head tiredly, "Edward what do you want?"

He pushed past me quietly and I blinked, letting him inside before I shut the door again.

"I went looking for you..."

"Didn't you think this would be the first place I'd come?" I asked obviously.

He shook his head, "Not like that... After you ran from my room... I went looking for you around the party... Do you know how hard it is to find someone in a room full of masked people?"

I laughed once at his remark, "Yeah I do."

His eyes darkened slightly at my words, "I finally found Alice... She told me you'd gone home... I just got here..."

"Why?" I questioned, "You still haven't told me why you're here?"

I folded my arms across my chest nervously, watching him with questioning eyes.

"I didn't know..." He whispered suddenly, taking a step closer to me, "I've liked you... For a long time now... I wasn't sure if you liked me back... That's why I thought up the idea for the party." So Alice was right, "But then I saw you with _him... _I lost track of you guys for a second, and then you were gone. I went looking for you straight away, I heard you saying you'd always wanted him... Fuck it I don't know what I was thinking!" He raked his fingers through his hair again, "If you wanted him and not me then fine... But I couldn't bear the thought of you together... So I had to stop it..."

I listened to his words, hovering slightly over the part where he said he liked me.

Eventually I spoke, my voice quiet against the dark of the night, "I didn't want him... I want you..."

He dropped his head, "I know that now... I'm sorry for what I said Bella..." He reached for my hands, unfolding them and gripping them tightly, "I didn't mean it... I know you're different. That's what I love about you..."

"I wanted to give myself to you Edward... I'm so sorry... I was going to..." I shut my eyes, feeling tears brim again at the thought of myself losing my virginity to that sleaze.

"You're a virgin?" He asked gently, watching me with intense eyes.

I just nodded, colour flooding my cheeks as I shut my eyes, sobs starting to rack my body.

"Hey..." He moved his arms to wrap around me, bringing me close to his chest, "Don't cry... It's okay... You didn't, that's the main thing right?"

I swallowed, nodding against him before I breathed in his scent, holding onto his shirt tightly.

Just how I imagined.

His hand travelled down to my waist and up my back again in a soothing motion, "You okay?"

I shut my eyes, "Yes... I'm perfect."

"Yeah you are..." His hand moved up to my hair and he held my tightly, "Jesus Christ Bella why couldn't you have just told me how you felt?"

"Because I didn't know if you'd feel the same." I stated, "Why couldn't you have told me?"

He let out a sigh, "Same reason I guess..."

I raised my head and pulled back a little, "I've ruined tonight... Your party... My dress..." I motioned to myself, "Look at the state of me..."

He reached to run his fingers through my damp hair and the look in his eyes made my stomach do a little flip, "Don't you realise how beautiful you are?"

"I'm not beautiful." I answered automatically, but my voice was no louder than a whisper.

The reason? Edward's head was moving towards mine and his eyes were closing. His lips touched mine gently and I sighed, shutting my eyes as I moved a little closer to him, smelling and tasting his delicious scent in one long overhaul.

The kiss was gentle, but soon turned into something more. I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck and he snaked his around my waist. I pressed up against him, sighing a little against his lips.

"I love you..." I whispered and I froze automatically.

Someone tell me I didn't just say that aloud.

I pulled back a little and opened my eyes. Edward was staring at me in shock.

Yep, I said it.

I yanked away from him, moving my shaking fingers to open the door, "You need to go... I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what? Me leaving or saying you love me?" He asked, not making any attempt to move.

"Please. Just go." I felt tears threatening again but Edward moved, walking outside and back into the night air.

I shut the door before going into the living room and turning off the TV. I walked upstairs quickly, fighting my thoughts the whole way there until I could finally think in peace.

Once in my room I got into the bed, burying my face in the pillow to suppress a scream. I started to cry. I cried about everything, how much I'd fucked up, how much I'd lost, how much I regretted.

I wiped away my tears and let out a breath, finally hoping I could get some sleep. I shut my eyes, lying still for a long moment before the other side of my narrow bed moved. I froze and suddenly a warm arm wrapped around my waist from behind.

"I love you too." Lips were by my ear, and Edward's hushed voice filled the void that seemed to separate everything in the darkness.

I opened my eyes, surprise and shock bringing my body to life again.

"What?" I whispered, afraid my voice would crack.

Edward didn't answer, instead his lips began to trail along my cheek and down to my jaw, "You should really lock your door before you go to sleep."

I honestly thought I was dreaming.

"What are you doing here?" I spoke again, shutting my eyes to the gentleness of his kisses.

"Isn't it obvious?" He raised his hand to brush the hair away from my neck before he placed a soft kiss just below my ear, making me shiver, "I came to tell you I love you."

"Why would you love someone like me?" I asked quietly, opening my eyes.

He sighed, pulling on my shoulder gently to move me towards him. His lips met mine again and I sighed, feeling my insecurities melting away with every press of his lips.

This was how Edward Cullen was supposed to kiss.

He spoke on my lips and I could feel his eyes on me, but I kept mine closed, "Because you're absolutely amazing."

I opened my mouth to speak, but Edward was still too close to me and suddenly his lips connected with mine in a deep and hungry kiss. He took advantage of the situation, slipping his tongue into my mouth to taste my tongue with his.

I reached up to his hair, moaning against him quite loudly, which I would've been embarrassed about had he not returned it. I turned fully to face him in the bed and his arm moved further around my waist, holding me against him as we kissed.

I was gasping and panting against him, something I tried to stop but found it impossible. He moved his warm lips away from mine suddenly and proceeded to kiss along my jaw and down my neck.

I shut my eyes, humming slightly as he trailed his lips along my skin. His tongue flicked out to the sensitive skin on my neck and I jerked against him as I gasped. He held me in that position, not letting me move as he stirred his nose along my collarbone, "I hated the thoughts of his hands on you." He almost growled, "You're mine."

My stomach did a little flip and I let out a breath at his defiant declaration, "Yours..." I agreed with a ragged breath.

He slid his hand down to my ass, keeping me held tight against his body as his lips moved along my shoulder.

I suddenly realised why he was holding me in this position. His erection was jutting against my stomach, and the pressure I was applying with my body was making him moan.

With a sudden burst of confidence from the fact that I was making him feel this way I moved away from him, giving some space so I could slip my hand down to his trousers and rub him slowly.

"Fuck!" He almost shouted, dropping his head onto my shoulder. I felt my hand freeze but he started to move against it slowly, obviously liking what I was doing to him, "Bella..." The sound of my name on his lips sent wetness and heat straight to my core, making me whisper his name in need.

He pulled his head back a little, meeting my eyes, "Can I?"

I knew what he was asking.

Could he take me.

This was what I'd been waiting for since... Forever.

"Yes..." I whispered, shutting my eyes tight, "Please yes..."

His hands moved down to my oversized shirt, before he gently pulled it over my head. I watched his face as he dropped it on the ground, holding his eyes to my naked breasts that now lay before him.

"You're not wearing a bra..." He mumbled before shaking his head to get rid of his idiotic words. I thought they were cute.

He reached down slowly, gently caressing the curves of my breasts with his warm hands and long fingers. He took my nipples between his thumb and forefinger before squeezing them gently.

"Ahh!" I moaned out, shutting my eyes as I arched my back into him.

Suddenly I felt his lips take over from his hands and I tried not to lose my breath as he planted soft kisses and succulent licks around my breasts. He hands lowered and hooked into my sweats, I automatically raised my hips from the bed, letting him slide them off carefully.

I felt somewhat self-conscious, lying here naked while he was fully dressed, so I reached up to his shirt, undoing the buttons with my trembling fingers as quickly as I could. He shrugged out of the shirt, before placing his hand on my inner thigh, continuing his explorations on my breasts with his mouth.

I trailed my hands up his muscular back before I scrapped down his torso. He was so finely trimmed and strong, with his abs moving every time he took a breath, I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips.

Edward's hand travelled further, up to my now soaked panties. He trailed his fingers along the satin, before hooking his fingers inside and stroking my wet folds slowly.

"Edward..." I moved against his hand, groaning his name desperately.

"You're all mine..." He whispered, kissing down along my stomach slowly, "Mine Bella, do you hear me?"

"Yes..." I wasn't answering his question, I was showing my admission for the things his fingers and lips were doing to me at that moment.

His touch grazed my clit and I jerked once again, loving the feeling of his warm fingers. He moved away from me then, only to remove my panties and throw them down with the rest of my clothes.

I gazed up at him as he knelt on my bed. He was shirtless, but still clad in his dress trousers as I lay underneath him, fully naked for him to see. I felt a blush creep up onto my cheeks, and hoped he wouldn't see it in the dark. The bed sheets and duvet had been pushed off the bed with our frantic movements, and I tried to remember how we'd gotten so carried away.

I remembered it was the three words that made my heart melt.

He stood up, slowly undoing the button of his trousers before he pushed them down, leaving him still in his boxers. I could see his cock underneath the fabric, hard and wanting _me._

His eyes stayed on my body the whole time and I moved to cover myself up, "Don't." He ordered. I stopped immediately, "You're beautiful..." He whispered, his voice fading in with the darkness.

He joined me on the bed again and positioned himself between my legs before he kissed my mouth deeply, making my lips command to his. I reached down, grabbing the elastic of his boxers, "Please." I bit out, "I want you so badly, Edward..."

"Yes..." He began to move and I heard him throw his boxers onto the floor before he pressed the head of his cock to my entrance, making me cry out in pleasure, "I've wanted you for so long..."

I shut my eyes, reaching to play with the hair on the nape of his neck as his words filtered through to me. They brought a smile to my lips before I felt Edward slide inside me slowly.

He was massive and rock hard. I felt myself adjust to his size gradually, making the faint trace of pain that had reared its ugly head, disappear almost instantly with the experience he was giving me.

"Are you okay?" Edward's strained voice was by my ear, and I nodded my answer.

"More..."

He pushed deeper and I moaned again, the ecstasy taking over my body as I dug my fingernails into his shoulders.

He groaned, reaching one hand down to my ass before he lifted it slowly, letting him push further and deeper inside me, right to the hilt.

My walls clenched around him and I felt him pull back slowly before he slid inside me again.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, letting one hand play with his hair while the other roamed his body. His arms were tight around me and the heat he was radiating only heightened the experience.

He moved slowly inside me and soon I felt the burning ache low in my stomach, "Harder." I whispered, "Edward... More..."

He let out a breath, and I knew for a fact he was holding out on me because he thought he'd hurt me, though it couldn't have been too bad for him considering the moans he was giving out.

I bucked my hips up into him as he thrust forward, making him quicken his pace to show how much I _needed _him to go faster.

With my simple movement he complied, giving two slow thrusts before he quickened again, starting a torturous rhythm that had my body shaking.

"Edward..." I whimpered, reaching to pull his lips to mine, "Fuck... Edward... Ohhh..."

My own noises seemed to make his cock harden more inside me and he moved quicker and harder, gripping my ass to reinforce his thrusts.

"Bella..." He kissed me fiercely, running his tongue along my bottom lip before he bit down on it softly, "I'm so close... Oh Bella..."

I couldn't say his name anymore, because the pleasure he was unveiling inside me was making my head spin and pleasure bubble in the pit of my stomach before travelling around my whole body. All I could do was moan, louder and louder before they turned into cries of need.

I clenched around his cock tightly when he gave another hard thrust. He stilled inside me and I opened my eyes to look at him as the tidal wave of rapture fell over my body.

"Edwaaaard!" I screamed, gripping him as our eyes met and held.

I felt him release inside me at that same moment, and my name burst from his lips as he met his peak.

We lay like that for a long moment, still with him buried inside me before our breathing and panting took over from the noise of our heartbeats.

Edward pulled away slowly, and I felt desolate without his touch. But he didn't get off the bed, instead he lay beside me and gathered me into his arms, resting my head over his heart, letting the hard thrum of it fill my ears.

The night wore on, and I waited for when the time came when he had to leave, although I wanted it to stay away for as long as possible.

"What time will your father be home in the morning?" He asked quietly, playing with a strand of my hair.

"Eleven." I answered with a sigh.

"Then go to sleep... We'll be awake before then I'm sure."

The fact he was going to stay the night with me made a grin form on my face as I moved closer into him.

I quickly fell asleep in the security of his arms.

* * *

The bright light streamed through my window and I opened my eyes hesitantly, before the nights events came flooding back to me.

I sat up in the bed, only to find my duvet wrapped tightly around me, and no Edward in the bed.

I glanced at the clock, it was only past 10am.

He didn't have to leave yet... But he had...

I fought back emotions that were playing with my body and head. Some were telling me last night never happened, but I was naked and I could tell _down below _that Edward had definitely been there. Others were telling me that Edward was gone, and I'd never see him again.

I bit back a cry and got up, going quickly to the shower to wash off last night's sweat. Part of me hated to do it, because I smelt of Edward.

When I was finished, I got dressed into a pair of clean sweats and a hoodie, going downstairs to cure my rumbling stomach. I tried to keep the thoughts of Edward from my mind, but I had a bad feeling lying in the pit of my bones.

Charlie came home at eleven on the dot, and I watched as he took off to have a quick sleep before his next shift. I sat at the kitchen table staring out the window, not particularly seeing anything.

At around eleven fifteen the phone rang and I got up slowly to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" Edward's voice at the other end of the phone made surprise fill my features and my heart leap into my throat. I didn't answer and after a long minute he spoke again, "Bella? You there?"

"I..." I stumbled for something to say, "Yes, I'm here."

He stayed quiet then and when he spoke he sounded angry, "You thought I'd left for good didn't you?" Once again my silence gave him his answer, "Seriously?" His voice turned soft, "After all that you think I would?"

"You were gone..." I whispered, fighting tears that threatened to overcome me.

"I lay with you for hours, just watching you sleep... I decided to leave early before Charlie came home..." He chuckled, "If you don't mind I'd like to keep my head. That man has a shotgun."

"Yeah but... You know he didn't come home before eleven."

"And you know I left a party last night to come after you... I went home around six to try and clean things up before my parents came home..."

That explains everything.

"Oh..." My voice was clearer now that I knew everything behind it, "Okay then..."

He let out a sigh of relief, "Look I was wondering... Did you want to go out today? On a date?"

I hesitated before I shut my eyes and leaned my forehead to the wall.

"What is it?" He questioned, "What's wrong?"

"This is already so hard..." I whispered.

"Are..." Edward stalled, "Are you going to dump me? After everything, you're actually going to dump me?"

"No..." I stopped talking for a moment, "Yes... I don't know... It's going to be too hard to go on like this... It's going to break my heart to leave you... Nevermind if we continue dating."

"Leave me?" Edward's voice was louder, "Why exactly are you leaving?"

"College." I answered, "Princeton."

He let out a laugh, a relieved laugh that made my bones crumble, "Bella... I'm going to Princeton too."

"What?" I shouted down the phone before lowering my voice, hoping I wouldn't wake Charlie, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well we didn't exactly talk much... Until now..."

"True..." I nodded, before smiling widely "Is that date still on the cards then?"

"Sure is, beautiful. I'll pick you up at four?"

I smiled, nodding even though he couldn't see me, "See you then."

I hung up the phone before walking upstairs slowly, wondering if Alice could come over and give me some tips on what to wear. But I soon realised that if she came over she'd want all the gossip, and I wasn't ready to tell her yet.

I went inside my room, sitting on the bed for a long moment before I reached for my book bag, something I never thought I'd open again. I went straight to my Biology book and took the list out from the last page before grabbing a pen from my desk.

I added one more thing to the list concerning Edward Cullen;

_Mine._

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**Well i really hope my readers enjoyed :) I'd love some reviews, so go on and hit that litttttllllle button below this sentence, it would really make my day. **

**Love, Ashley. xx**


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